Friday, November 9, 2012

Wishing for someone else's cross

Right now I have a rather strong love-hate relationship with "mommy blogs." You know the kind: written by a woman, usually a stay-at-home-mom, featuring the endearing, difficult, and intolerable aspects of raising children. Depending on my mood and vulnerability that day, I'm either uplifted by cute tales and adorable pictures, or strongly, strongly tempted to despair and jealousy. Can I start a club of mommy blogger wannabes? Because I so want to be part of the mommy blog club!

About the title: it's really easy for me to read a blog post about someone experiencing post-partum depression, or facing a high-risk pregnancy, and actually feel jealous of them! It can't be that bad, I reason, because at least they have children/are pregnant. At least they have that consolation, that reason to suffer. Which on the one hand is true, I guess. Suffering for someone, especially for one's child, has to be easier than just plain suffering.

But on the other hand, I know this reaction is so wrong! Everyone has their own cross. It sounds trite, but it's true. Mine right now is subfertility. And it's a heavy cross, one I wish I didn't have to carry. But post-partum depression is a pretty heavy cross, too. Nothing to be jealous about, that's for sure! It's hard work to make sure that my desire for motherhood doesn't disorder my reactions to crosses that mothers bear.

+Ecce Fiat+

1 comment:

  1. Goodness, I find myself completely agreeing with so many of your posts! I could have written this as well, even down to the love-hate mommy-blog part. I also find that it helps a lot to remind myself that they have crosses too--and some are crosses that I would probably have a harder time handling than they do. (for example, a super-fertile family with a very much smaller income. I really don't know if I could be as good about budgeting and living frugally!)