Monday, March 25, 2013

Cycle day 1, aka Palm Sunday

Well, I won't lie and say I wasn't hoping that we'd get a little Holy Week miracle this year. But nope. No baby in my womb for Easter, and no baby in my arms for Christmas. (Today would happen to be the Annunciation, even though it's not observed this year...) Sigh.

I also won't lie and say that when I saw some spotting and felt some light cramps yesterday, I didn't think for, oh, maybe the 20th month in a row, "maybe it's implantation cramping...?" Why do I always think that? Why is hope so hard to extinguish? But nope. If only.

I'm trying to stay positive. Trying to focus on some exciting things happening in our lives. Such as: We had a housing opportunity come out of nowhere - a larger apt for just a little more money, in a safer location. We're discerning it now, but I'm really excited about the possibility to have a guest room (and, dare I dream, nursery?) plus a larger kitchen and some backyard space. We have until Saturday to decide, so many prayers are going up to whoever the patron saint of housing decisions is!

Trying to focus on Holy Week. My parents and Mr. M's mom are coming to town for the Triduum. I'm excited to see them, but also disappointed that we still don't have any "news." But oh well - it will still be Easter! Jesus will still rise! (I don't mean that to be flippant - of course it matters to me so very much that we are still childless. I'm trying to make more of an effort to focus on the positive and also not let this season of my life pass me by while I'm figuratively sulking in a corner.)



  1. CD1 too :( ...So that means in our household... "treat yourself day" ... baths, coffee drinks, date night, stay up late playing video games etc... You can also call CD1 "distraction day!" This is the best day to start a new project and be sure to finish it with passion!

    Seriously though...We feel your pain!

    Cling to Jesus. Pray to Him and don't forget He loved you (and everyone) so much He paid for our sins. Read Romans 8. This helps me...

    Also, something else DM and I cling to and wrote about in our last post: "We know God does heal 100%. In the Bible, God healed the blind, the lame and brought the dead back to life. Many miracles happened to women who had trouble having kids. Jesus healed a woman all because she touched his cloak and even healed a person from afar because of their great faith (Matthew 8:5-13.)"

    We keep hoping for a miracle!

  2. Oh CD1 is never welcome, praying for you! Hope can not be extinguished, because it will always live on. Sending ((hugs)) and prayers your way. I hope you have a blessed Holy Week and Easter!

  3. St. Joseph--he has been a great help in finding both our current and previous homes!!

    I always fall in to the "maybe its implantation bleeding?" etc. too. But I've found its so much better to have hope every month than to just be depressed all month long, so I'm already hoping for a New Year's baby (CD 3 here).

  4. Sorry about CD1. I'm the same way with hoping each cycle. You'd think by now the rational part of my brain would take over, but the hope (at least a little bit) is still always there.

  5. Stubborn hope. I guess it's a good thing that it persists so much. Sorry about CD1. Holidays and the lack of news is so hard!

  6. Ugh! Stupid CD1. Each month, without any good reason other than Hope, i do the same things - even if I don't want to admit it.

    Prayers for you!