Well, I won't lie and say I wasn't hoping that we'd get a little Holy Week miracle this year. But nope. No baby in my womb for Easter, and no baby in my arms for Christmas. (Today would happen to be the Annunciation, even though it's not observed this year...) Sigh.
I also won't lie and say that when I saw some spotting and felt some light cramps yesterday, I didn't think for, oh, maybe the 20th month in a row, "maybe it's implantation cramping...?" Why do I always think that? Why is hope so hard to extinguish? But nope. If only.
I'm trying to stay positive. Trying to focus on some exciting things happening in our lives. Such as: We had a housing opportunity come out of nowhere - a larger apt for just a little more money, in a safer location. We're discerning it now, but I'm really excited about the possibility to have a guest room (and, dare I dream, nursery?) plus a larger kitchen and some backyard space. We have until Saturday to decide, so many prayers are going up to whoever the patron saint of housing decisions is!
Trying to focus on Holy Week. My parents and Mr. M's mom are coming to town for the Triduum. I'm excited to see them, but also disappointed that we still don't have any "news." But oh well - it will still be Easter! Jesus will still rise! (I don't mean that to be flippant - of course it matters to me so very much that we are still childless. I'm trying to make more of an effort to focus on the positive and also not let this season of my life pass me by while I'm figuratively sulking in a corner.)