AND I went in Babies R Us to get a gift!
I'm kind of proud of myself =)
The friend whose baby shower it was is a former IF sufferer. She and her husband went through 6 years of TTC plus 2 m/cs before they conceived their daughter, who is due in January. Because of her background, she's been so incredibly sympathetic toward me and Mr. M.
For example, when she told us she was pregnant, she said right away, "It's okay if you cry - I bawled my eyes out when my best friend told me she was pregnant with her fourth. I understand." and I believed her. (I didn't cry.)
When we got the invitation to her shower, I immediately knew I wanted to go to support them. Plus - and this was a big factor! - it was addressed to both me and Mr. M. In my humble opinion, co-ed showers are a million, gajillion times easier than women-only showers.
So we went, with the goal of supporting our friends who have been through so much. And it went fine. I was right about the co-ed part: it was so calming to get to be next to Mr. M and to be in mixed company so every single sentence wasn't gushing about babies. We talked about other stuff and that kept me peaceful. Plus the hosts (our expectant friends) were just so gracious. They weren't braggy about their baby, and the mom didn't complain about pregnancy - they were just so happy and grateful and honestly it was very hopeful for me to see that. After 6 years, a child! Wow.
We couldn't stay through all the presents because I had to work that night, but even that was okay. The mom thanked everyone before opening gifts for being there, and got choked up saying how grateful they were for their child, and it was just so humble and lovely. No hint at all of "well, we got married last year, so this is what happens, go us" or anything like that.
Who knows what I'll do when the next shower rolls around. But I'm really glad we went to this one - I think they received our presence as a gift of love, knowing our circumstances.