Then today, I woke up with a cold (ick) so I've spent the day on the couch with a heating pad, a good book, and the olympics. A convenient time for cramps and a cold! Wow, did anyone see the downhill trials? The skiers sail 90 yards over one of the jumps! The men's biatholon was neat too - skiing + shooting. So manly. I can't wait for figure skating tonight.
(Although I have to mute the P&G commercials about "team mom" or whatever...got choked up last night thinking I'd never have a child to teach how to ski or skate or be an Olympic champion....j/k about the last part, although that would be cool!)
Anyway, now I'm bored and stuffed up and feel grumpy about AF. This cycle's has seemed to hit me harder than previous cycles (more tears) but I wonder if it's just because I'm not at work and actually have time to "feel the feelings," so to speak.
I think part of it too is that we agreed that we'd try to (finally) do the SA in February if we didn't get pregnant first, and let's just say I'm definitely not looking forward to that.
And then there's the little sadnesses, different every month: no baby to celebrate on Valentines' day, and no news for my parents when we visit with them next weekend.
I'm just getting awfully weary of all this. One consoling thought I keep coming back to (when I'm in the mood to be hopeful) is "just think of how much more joy a child will bring if we're ever so blessed." Doesn't work every time - sometimes I'm too numb to even believing that it's still a possibility - but since I haven't completely relinquished hope yet, it helps to think that maybe this pain will recede one day and be more a bad dream than a living nightmare.
My other "happy thought" lately is the "be strong" line from Dumb & Dumber. Yeah, I love that movie! (Although to my credit I grew up with the edited-for-TV version and was shocked to see some of the "racier" scenes.)
So if you need a laugh...
(My "happy place" line is at about 1:00...)