Did you ever read those little kids' books in the series "That's not my ____!" For example, one is "That's not my doggy!" and the jist of the book is that every page has a different doggy and says something like "That's not my doggy! He's too shiny." or "That's not my doggy! He's too fluffy" or whatever. Then the final page says, with a tone of relief I think, "that's my doggy! He's black and white" or whatever the real dog looks like.
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| penguin example |
Well, I've found myself saying recently when I'm tempted to jealously by seeing a woman my age with several kids, or hearing from friends who are stay at home moms and have time to do canning, or happening upon a blog of someone with stairstep children, or whatever: "That's not my life." And then I can remind myself of the life that is mine, how I have a great husband and a job I enjoy and a lovely little home, etc. It doesn't mean I still don't feel a pang of jealousy and longing, but using that line at least makes me chuckle a little.
Plus, it's true! That's not my life, as much as I wish it was. On the other hand, my life is also not one of deprivation or war or displacement or other horrible things; it reminds me to pray for those who are experiencing those sufferings and would give anything to have a simple, peaceful, safe life.
Also, something I find both comforting and challenging is that when I get to heaven, God is not going to ask me to account for either someone else's life (that I wished was mine) or a fantasy life that I lived in my head, but rather my actual life: how well did I love Mr. M? How well did I love my parents? How well did I love the children he did place in my life, nieces and nephews and friends' kids? If I died today, I wouldn't be asked to account how good a mother I was, since I'm not one. That's not my life.
Anyway, it's been a quick, helpful reminder to not compare, a way to handle jealousy, and to get back to the business of living my actual life right here at my fingertips.
+EcceFiat+
I love this post because of how the focus to turns to 'what is my life' and not the wishes for what I have for my life (some big, some smaller). I am working on the focus for every day right now .... if I look to the future of 'can I do this job for the next 10-15 years' it is too overwhelming .... but if it is 'Lord, walk with me through this day, I need you every moment.' then I can get through the day. Today, this is my day. This is my life. Not that it's wrong to have dreams, but if too much energy goes into them, I lose 'the moment' that is for me right now!
ReplyDeleteThis might just be the antidote to what I just wrote on my page yesterday. Thanks for the thought provoking post! :)
ReplyDeleteNot familiar with those books, but a great analogy and sooooooo pertinent. Ive been thinking this weekend how i need to be more purposeful and diligent in fulfilling my vocation as a wife. Thank u for the reminder: "If I died today, I wouldn't be asked to account how good a mother I was, since I'm not one." But i am a wife and need to work on that.
ReplyDeleteI love this! I would often think along similar lines, especially when I hit my lows. I would think, if I wasn't living this life right now, I wouldn't have my sweet husband, my job, my friends, our adventures, etc. It was a great reminder that while I didn't have what I wanted, I still had a lot of joy. I also love that thinking "that's not my life" helps you to pray for those who are experiencing other sufferings. So beautiful, ecce.
ReplyDeleteI needed to hear this tonight, thanks to you (and Mr. M!) for your beautiful words!! :) God bless you both, praying for you!
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