cycle recap and next steps

Cycle day 1 again. Bummer.

This isn't really a "cycle review" because I didn't get any professional advice on this cycle. Just a reflection on the past cycle.

This was my second attempted and failed cycle using Tamoxifen. I really have no clue what the point is in taking it. That's been my problem from the beginning - there's no clear symptom or condition that Tamoxifen is addressing. It's just trying something to see if it will work. So far it hasn't. My luteal phases are fine - 12/13 days, the same as always.

But it's seriously messed up my CM, which was pathetic both this cycle and last. And that, in turn, messes me up psychologically. It's hard to convince myself that relations are worthwhile (on a night that we might not otherwise feel like it) when I don't see encouraging fertile signs, if that makes sense. So that's probably a factor too. Bleh.

Now, after not doing much of anything for awhile, all of a sudden there's a number of fertility-related stuff coming up:

• I'm giving Tamoxifen one more month, just to say I tried it. 
• I'm still using B6 but it's not doing anything. Maybe it just doesn't work for me, or maybe it's the Tamoxifen - don't know. I'm going to use up my 60-tab supply of 500 dosage and then cut back to 100 dosage. I'm hoping my CM will bounce back after the Tamoxifen is out of my system.
• Next Wednesday I have a sonohysterogram scheduled. My excitement is minimal. Actually I'm not excited at all to have another uncomfortable, invasive procedure. But at least this one seems to be more rationally related to my situation. The goal is to see whether there are still polyps in my uterus, since I still have irregular mid-cycle bleeding. And I think this test can find any other uterine abnormalities that could be interfering with conception. Plus I can have it done at my doctor's office and not at some big downtown place right down the hall from the IVF clinic (where I had my HSG done way back when).
• On October 1st, I'm meeting with a new doctor to get a second opinion. She has a relatively new practice in our area, is closer than my other doctor, and helped a friend of mine conceive after 6 years of trying. The friend said she's wonderful to work with, and I'm curious to see if she'd have any different suggestions for tests and treatments because I feel like things are running dry with my current doctor. (Much of that is my fault for dragging my feet on stuff she had recommended.) I figure one office visit can't hurt, and maybe we'll get some fresh ideas, or decide that she's easier to work with, or something.

And in non-medical related plans, I'm attending my first ever adoption information meeting tonight. Mr. M can't attend due to a scheduling conflict - boo. This agency is literally 5 minutes from our house. I have no idea what to expect, and no real expectations beyond getting a feel for who these people are and whether we want to talk with them one-on-one. At the least, it will be a nice distraction from the CD1 cramps and general yuckiness. Afterwards, I plan to come home and polish off the last beer in our fridge =)

+EcceFiat+