I've been thinking about adoption lately, about every angle of it. I've read a few books that have been helpful, several about the logistics of adoption (what's a home study, how much does everything cost) and one about deeper issues, I guess you could say. (discernment of adoption, tips for raising an adopted child, etc.) And there are a lot of thoughts percolating up. Here's one.
One of the books I've read is by Dr. Ray Guarendi: "Adoption: Choosing it, living it, loving it." I thought it was really good, although not all of the sections applied to us. One thing he helped me to see is that adopting an older child (older than an infant) is doable. Because one thing that really scares me about adoption is that the child could have pretty severe "issues" that we couldn't deal with...and I have the impression that that's more possible when you adopt an older child.
Anyway, Dr. Ray had a lot of good advice, both personal and professional, that has encouraged me to rethink the question of adopting a toddler or older child. (More on that later, maybe.) But I realized something (thank you, Holy Spirit). Here goes a big slice of humble pie...one reason I want to adopt an infant is that I want the attention of being the mother of an infant! I've seen a lot of it in the people around me: the new mother gets meals taken to her, is the center of attention after mass, gets "oohs" and "aahs" and "what a tiny baby!" and is just celebrated all around. (As it should be! It's no easy feat to have a newborn in the house!)
"Ahem," says God. "Do you want to have a baby...just to get the extra attention?" Well, sheesh...when you put it that way!
"Admixture of self" indeed! Man, this whole IF experience is so darn purifying! God is progressively stripping away my selfish motives and re-orienting me toward Him. Toward what really matters. And something makes me think that what matters most is not showing off a brand new baby to the world...
Anyway, just some thoughts. More are percolating...