Friday, April 19, 2013

Recent pregnancy-related "jabs"

I'm writing these down here in the hopes that my brain and heart can process through them and let them go peacefully, instead of keep them bottled up inside.

Recent situations where someone else's pregnancy made me feel sad and jealous:

  • Trying to schedule flight arrangements with a work consultant - he can't come to the event because his wife will be having a baby then
  • One of the nurses at the doctor's office, who gave us our intro session on Creighton, was visibly pregnant when I last visited for my latest IF follow-up
  • Former coworker, married this past summer, saw her pregnancy news via Facebook because I have to use FB for my job (just can't get away from FB!! argh)
  • A neighbor, friend of a friend - very pregnant, saw her in the parking lot as she was coming back from a walk with her toddler
  • Former classmate, due in May, married this past summer, signed an email "[Name] and baby" (Why? I don't think the baby really contributed to that email...)
And a recent pet peeve: other people's assumptions about why we don't have children. At a dinner with an acquaintance:

Her: So, do you and Mr. M have kids?
Me: No, not yet.
Her: Oh, I met someone on the train the other day who waited until she was 35 to have her kids. And she said you're never really ready!
Me: [want to say...I didn't say we were waiting to have kids, actually we've been trying to have kids for almost 2 years...but say nothing and eat my salad and hope she changes the subject]

Awkward. And annoying! Why do people do that? I don't mind people asking if we have kids - that's a normal small-talk topic. But why assume you know the reason? It's kind of hurtful, and I certainly don't feel like explaining our IF situation to an almost-stranger.

(All right, I feel better now....sorry for the emotions dump!)



  1. Sending you big hugs, I so feel your pain!

  2. That is where a lot of my struggle come from too. It is hard when life does not stop because I haven't been able to have kids. It feels like a balancing act of protecting my heart but still being there to celebrate the joyful moments of my loved ones.

  3. Thanks for commenting on my last blog post. I appreciate your kind words...all I can say to you about others comments is that they just don't know...are ignorant or just assume (because 99% of the world can have kids easily) that you are like everyone else and you are just waiting...etc. There is no rhyme or logic to what others say. I've put a lot of work into brushing those comments off...unless they come from my mother (hence my recent post).