Recent situations where someone else's pregnancy made me feel sad and jealous:
- Trying to schedule flight arrangements with a work consultant - he can't come to the event because his wife will be having a baby then
- One of the nurses at the doctor's office, who gave us our intro session on Creighton, was visibly pregnant when I last visited for my latest IF follow-up
- Former coworker, married this past summer, saw her pregnancy news via Facebook because I have to use FB for my job (just can't get away from FB!! argh)
- A neighbor, friend of a friend - very pregnant, saw her in the parking lot as she was coming back from a walk with her toddler
- Former classmate, due in May, married this past summer, signed an email "[Name] and baby" (Why? I don't think the baby really contributed to that email...)
Her: So, do you and Mr. M have kids?
Me: No, not yet.
Her: Oh, I met someone on the train the other day who waited until she was 35 to have her kids. And she said you're never really ready!
Me: [want to say...I didn't say we were waiting to have kids, actually we've been trying to have kids for almost 2 years...but say nothing and eat my salad and hope she changes the subject]
Awkward. And annoying! Why do people do that? I don't mind people asking if we have kids - that's a normal small-talk topic. But why assume you know the reason? It's kind of hurtful, and I certainly don't feel like explaining our IF situation to an almost-stranger.
(All right, I feel better now....sorry for the emotions dump!)
+EcceFiat+
Sending you big hugs, I so feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteThat is where a lot of my struggle come from too. It is hard when life does not stop because I haven't been able to have kids. It feels like a balancing act of protecting my heart but still being there to celebrate the joyful moments of my loved ones.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting on my last blog post. I appreciate your kind words...all I can say to you about others comments is that they just don't know...are ignorant or just assume (because 99% of the world can have kids easily) that you are like everyone else and you are just waiting...etc. There is no rhyme or logic to what others say. I've put a lot of work into brushing those comments off...unless they come from my mother (hence my recent post).
ReplyDelete