1. Last Sunday was the "Prayers for Hope and Healing" event, and it went great. I'd say there were about 30 people at the talk and a few more at the mass, which seemed good for a first-time event. My prayer was that everyone who needed to be there was there, and that it would be a comfort even to people who couldn't come or didn't feel ready. A big highlight was that after mass, the celebrant priest exposed the Blessed Sacrament and then offered a healing prayer to anyone who wanted one. Pretty cool. I won't lie and say my eyes weren't a bit...misty...laying all of my desires and hurts at the feet of our Eucharistic Lord, and receiving a prayer and blessing from a priest.
|Jesus, I trust in you.|
2. The talk before the mass was excellent! I highly, highly recommend Kevin Well's book "Burst"! His talk focused on the Christian understanding of suffering, how it can be redemptive, and how to carry the cross of infertility well. Again, misty eyes...it was so wonderful to hear someone put so many of my thoughts into words, and offer guidance and hope from their own journey.
|It's about infertility, adoption, failed adoptions, brain trauma, murder, love, and baseball....!|
3. The other awesome thing about Sunday was meeting and talking with other people who live near me and who are struggling with infertility. I am so, so, SO grateful for everyone I've met through this blog, but I'm sure you'll understand how great it is to talk with someone in person! I'm brainstorming now other events to propose to the Archdiocese, largely as a way to build something of a community around this issue, or at least a place where people can go for comfort and understanding friendship.
4. As I said earlier, my doctor has given us 2 options for "next steps": a sonohysterogram and/or Tamoxifen. After some discussion, Mr. M and I have decided to do neither for the time being. Mr. M said he just needs a break from doctor's visits and wants to explore revisiting the SA. And scheduling would be a challenge the next few months anyway. May was a bust for the sonohysterogram since Dr. C was on vacation. I'm traveling at the end of May and then we're going on vacation (!!!) in June, then I travel again in July. So I think we're just going to wait and see for the time being and revisit further diagnostic tests/treatments later in the summer.
5. Here's a revelation and a resolution: the resolution is not to look at "mommy blogs" anymore (excepting the ones on the side of my own blog). The revelation: I feel left out and jealous when I read blogs filled with cute kids! That's a fact. But I hesitated to give up the mom blogs because they're still my sisters in Christ, after all! And to be perfectly honest, I felt a little resentful at feeling left out...I wondered why more mom blogs can't be more conscious of the fact that not everyone's life revolves around babies and play-dates...until my ever-wise husband pointed out that they talk all about such things because they're talking to other moms. My own mom-friends IRL don't bombard me with mom-and-baby stuff because they know me and love me...but if I was a fly on the wall at one of their play-dates, I'm sure it would be different! So all that is to say, for my peace of mind and a better focus on my own vocation as God has given it to me (and to avoid the near occasion of sin...jealousy) I'm going to steer clear of mommy blogs for now. Maybe for a long time - maybe until I have one of my own? ha ha
6. IF I am ever blessed to hold in my hand a little stick that tells me that there's a brand new human being growing within me...I think that I'll feel a lot like Elinor Dashwood when she finds out that Mr. Ferrars is not, in fact, married:
(I hope I didn't spoil the ending for anyone!) I feel like I have a lot in common with Elinor these days: a great longing for something that seems impossible, having to watch other people receive the blessing I want (not that I'm not happy for them!), getting older without feeling like my life is moving forward, etc. She's a good role model, too, I think, for how to bear sorrows of the heart virtuously!
7. This, on the other hand, is my new theme song for CD1. It was the song we played to accompany our wedding rehearsal "slideshow" (the kind where you put together all the pictures of you from babyhood through courtship). I love it, and I think it's perfect for CD1.
A beautiful description of marriage, too!
Have a wonderful weekend =)