Wednesday, May 15, 2013

"Infertility & Spiritual Surrender"

I came across this article today and loved this paragraph:

"I thought I had a strong faith, but I was wrong. Sure, I’ve trusted in God, but it wasn’t until this latest suffering [of infertility] that I started to realize and internalize what it means to surrender to God. It is one thing for me to trust Him with concerns about a job, a salary, a move, or a health issue. But, it is quite another to surrender my deepest desires, to feel as though I am surrendering my very self. In my mind I had more power and control over this struggle to conceive if I held on to it–tightly. The thought of surrendering this desire to God as I have done with other struggles in my life was, in a word, terrifying. So many devout and holy people I know speak about the freedom and peace that comes when you place your trust in God, but for so long all I felt was fear." hard it is. Especially when it involves one's "deepest desires," as the author said so well. Especially when the future is so uncertain: will we conceive this month, or never?

The whole article is very good, and I think those who've journeyed through IF will particularly appreciate her sense of humor.

(Note: the author writes at the end that she eventually conceived. Just a heads-up if you're not up for reading about other people's happy endings today =))


1 comment:

  1. I was just reflecting on this this morning as I was trying not to freak out and grasp for control - how it has taken infertility for me to truly find my faith, and to cling to it instead of brushing it away.

    Thank-you for sharing this.